The most wonderful time of the year

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

We hear holiday songs all around us; there is cinnamon scent in the air; houses, streets and shops gleam with lights; and a sense of magic pervades our emotions.

Shop windows entice us to buy attractive gifts. Radio, television, multiple tourist offers, attractive destinations, cruises, etc., delight us and invite us to experience amazing holidays, the best and most unique holidays in our lives, that will remain in our memories forever.

This magical ambience promises both joy and plenitude that may lead some people to build up high expectations hard to achieve.

The holidays tramp

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

The Holiday season is a time of great expectations. People plan with anticipation how to make each event a special time to be celebrated and remembered.  Different celebration models reflect each one’s nature: romantic environments, fireplaces, inspiring music on one side; on the other, fireworks, and exotic, exhilarating carnival-like parties. There is not a universal or proper way of celebrating, on the contrary, we are able to create and participate in the kind of festivity that best suits our preferences.

The Holiday season is also a very conflicting time. Some couples find it difficult to match their expectations and families are torn away by competing events and celebrating styles. Even the selection of gifts could become a bitter confrontation. 

Yours, mine... Ours

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

Family is the basis of society, the space where the personality of each member starts building up, the pillar on which the psychological, social and physical development of humans is determined. Ideally, it gives each of its members a sense of emotional stability and safety.

Nowadays, there are different family structures, and the traditional family —mother, father and children— is now just one of the many possibilities. The concept of family now includes blended families as well.

Blended families, that is, those that come together through a second marriage merging the children of both spouses, face different challenges than the traditional biological family.

• As professionals, in the last years we have seen a variety of blended family families.
• The most frequent concerns these families face are:
• Arguments regarding the different criteria for raising children. Between “my natural children and yours”.

The magic power

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

The month of May gives us the opportunity to honor and value the importance of the mother figure in the family dynamics, and in her relationship with her kids.

Why are mom’s kisses like magic to heal a kid’s wound?  What is the reason for a child’s sober to be calmed down with a mother’s hug? Why do midnight fears go away when a mother rubs her child’s back?

A mother’s warm smile, the way she looks and values her kids, her encouraging words in hard times, even her listening attitude, produce an amazingly positive effect in a child’s personality. This translate in a higher self-esteem and an embracing sense of comfort.

Is there a reason why the maternal figure generates a state of safety, protection, and comfort in kids? May it be that the mother provides the basis for her kid’s healthy development into adults?

Celebrations are now over- How can we keep the fire of love and passion burning?

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

During holiday celebrations, there is excitement in the atmosphere, people are in a good mood and this holiday spirit inspires couples to have a good time.

Some hours later… decoration lights from houses and shops start to go off, the melodies that rose our spirits with messages of love and joy have vanished, the smell of mint and cinnamon that magically transported us to a state of festivity and plenitude starts to fade away… our five senses are no longer stimulated for celebration.

• Do you feel that the fire of love and passion is fading and that your relationship is turning into a      boring routine again?
• Do you feel there is less communication between you and your partner?
• Do you no longer feel surprised when you think about how your intimate encounter with your couple is going to begin and end?
• Do you need to be surrounded by people to enjoy an outing with your couple?

In other words, ask yourself the following question: Do you feel there is less chemistry, less passion, less communication and less intimacy in your relationship?  Do you feel the fire is fading?