Valeria Vilar, LMHC, at Despierta America- Univision

Cross the bridge to find balance in your relationship

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

A couple in crisis typically occurs when an unusual amount of discomfort or unresolved conflict causes the level of anxiety to become too intense for the couple to deal with.

Commonly, there are slight alterations, slight resentment in communication and the minor holding back of affection that result into distance, silence and finally a breakdown in the relationship.

Celebrate independence by overcoming emotional dependence

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

Undoubtedly, there is no feeling as exciting as the feeling of being in love. Most of us have a beautiful relation in our lives; we love our partners so much, but still face relationship problems every now and then.

 In my counseling practice, very often I hear from my patients comments such as:

 “I need my other half like the oxygen to breath”, “I can’t live without my partner”, “If something happens to my couple I couldn’t keep on living”, “I need more time with my partner”, “I feel abandoned or not loved enough if he/she doesn’t call or spend more time with me”

Is this love? or, Is it emotional dependence?

In general, people experiencing these feelings can’t clearly distinguish what is happening to them. They think they are in love, but in parallel they suffer pain, fear and rejection. Those feelings are very distant from the joy of being in love. In order to clarify these emotions and overcome dependency, the first step is to recognize the signs of emotional dependency. The following characteristics are the most common signs:

·      Lack of Boundaries: When respectful boundaries of privacy, time, fair fighting, or emotional and financial well-being are violated, emotional dependency may be the cause.

·      Driving Need: When one or both parties find themselves desperately clinging to each other, it's usually a good indicator that emotional dependency is occurring.

Enhancing Your Romance This Holiday Season

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

For many couples it can sometimes be hard to keep their relationship in balance when the routine at home, their work, and children, are invading their lives. In addition to that, the holiday season not only generates joyful times, but it also brings them stress. This unbalance could affect a relationship by diminishing its intimacy and romance.

• Are you feeling that another year is passing by and your spark is cooling down?
• Are you bored in your relationship?
•  Is the routine overwhelming you and you find yourself as if there was no time for romance?