Finding freedom through forgiveness

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

It is rewarding to know you are going through life with your beloved one by your side. But the paths of life are not always easy. We are going to experience difficult situations, and crisis at some points. 

A partner is a person that is close to you, someone who gained your trust and your love. A partner knows more about you than most people do, therefore, due to this closeness, you are in a vulnerable position.

Commonly after a crisis, feelings like avoidance, deception, infidelity, and anger appear.  In my practice I’ve noticed some people react to painful events showing off the soreness like a flag of their lost war. They choose to label themselves with their scar. However, other people react building a hard shell around them, a protection, avoiding the possibility of being hurt again. But at the same time, they are closing the door to love and positive feelings. They hide their scar like a shameful remembrance.

Why do we find freedom through forgiveness?

Because… 

•         To forgive is to give a present to yourself.
•         To forgive is to correct the negative emotional conditions.
•        It is a process of internal growth.

Balance yourself and your relationship this Valentine’s Day

By Valeria Vila, MA, BEd, LMHC

People find meaning and purpose within their lives through relationships with others. Among the most important relationships one can have, romantic interactions are very significant. Certainly, not one day of the year is more symbolic of amorous relationships, than Valentine's Day.

In the romantic month of February, couples all around the world celebrate Valentine’s Day. Throughout the course of the so called “love month” expectations to improve relationships arise. Couples hope February 14^th to be a celebration with affection amongst each other. Lovers exchange cards, chocolates, and often gift baskets, that contain meaningful objects to their partner that say not only, “I love you”, but also, “I know what you like.” Like every day and every celebration, we have the opportunity to learn and improve. On this passionate month, I invite you to balance yourself in order to balance your relationship and be able to rejoice a special Valentine’s Day.

Some couples, enjoy a mature relationship with an open communication, and a balanced interaction. This allows them to grow affectively, to set common goals, to enjoy the time together, and to plan future projects.

Something more than roses and chocolate.

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

This month romantic hopes and expectations arise in Valentine’s Day. Singles expect to find the special one and couples expect to enhance their relationship through expression of affection and gifts. The tradition of giving red roses and chocolates hearts or by sending valentines has made the 14th of February a very joyful day in the calendar.  Like every other day, like every other celebration, Valentine’s Day brings opportunities, not always wishes made true. We find on February 14^th a precise mirror of our identity, the sum of our virtues and defects, and a new learning opportunity to improve our lives. Singles and couples are frequently facing disappointment with unmet expectations based on false assumptions and lack of communication.

For unattached singles or those that recently went through a break up, divorce or death, Valentine’s Day can be particularly challenging, but also the best moment to refocus their energies in other types of relationship that are not romantic, to appreciate those closest to them, to clarify their relationships goals and help calibrate their expectations and hope for this celebration.

Halloween treats

By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC

Halloween is a very popular celebration among adults. It’s popularity goes beyond helping their children choose costumes, or go trick or treating with them.

It is the one night of the year, where it is socially accepted for adults to express their fantasies, characterizing them through costumes, without feeling judged or embarrassed.

Although this celebration is linked to ghosts, zombies, vampires and monsters, This night also offers an opportunity for couples to have a sexy celebration.