Teen at Home?.... Get Ready!
Raising children can be the most rewarding task. Each age and developmental stage of the child presents specific challenges and opportunities: for babies it is to eat, to sleep and to explore their immediate world; for children to socialize and learn the basics of human interaction; for adolescents it is to develop their own identity.
One of the greatest achievements and goals that adolescents need to develop is independence. For some of them it is difficult to manage this transition from puberty to adolescence without conflicts. This passage towards a stage of greater freedom can cause sadness and stress to both parents and teenagers. This transition generates significant tension, and this is the time when parents must be prepared to act.
Starting early in that preparation is the best way to get ready for helping our kids and ensure a successful adolescence. Parents can prepare themselves or consulting with trained professionals.
In our professional practice we usually give parents certain tips that proved to be helpful:
1) Provide a safe and loving atmosphere at home, building a background of emotional security.
2) Work out the conflicting relationships among family members, in a way that teaches the adolescent how to learn conflict resolution tools, and inspire the child to act in the same way in other environments.
3) Create an environment of honesty, confidence and mutual respect starting with parent's example. Parent's actions, and their perseverance and commitment, are values that are going to fortify the young teens in their future development.
4) Update and adapt the way you treat your kids to their ages. Some parents have the tendency to continue with the same protecting style they were used to, and limiting by doing so, their teens' capacity to develop their own abilities.
Adolescents naturally start to choose other important figures for them besides their parents, and they also tend to become highly influenced by peers.
It is wise to gradually grant teens independence, as a way to enhance their own responsibility and at the same time keeping discretionarily power over them, knowing what they are doing, with whom they meet and where are their favorite social meeting places.
On one hand an excessive independence could give the youth insecurity and expose them to confronting situations that they're not prepared for. On the other hand, an excessive restriction can produce rebellion or submission on their part, and these are both undesirable effects.
An open and fluid communication process between parents and teens is one of the bases to achieve a good relationship, and it requires persistence and understanding.
The adolescence stage can be less stressful when parents and teens work together in facing their challenges. This approach will ease and pave the road towards achieving a life-long loving and trustful relationship.
Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC, is the Clinical Director of Open Mind Bilingual/Spanish Counseling Center. The center is located at the Weston Town Center since 1998. They work with individuals, children, adolescents, adults, couples and families. Additional information, can be reached at (954) 385-9550, and This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or by visiting www.openmind.cc