By Valeria Vilar, MA, BEd, LMHC
In this month of November, families gather to celebrate Thanksgiving. People plan encounters with loved ones and show them their affection by celebrating with an elaborated dinner. This show of affection between family members who have chosen to share this special night is called positive feedback.
Positive feedback relates to recognition, esteem, and gratefulness. We are developing esteem from the gratefulness that we fell and received from others.
We fell grateful for things we have received. When we appreciate someone, we acknowledge the fact that this person has said or done something that has a positive effect in us. These recognitions generate esteem and gratefulness.
When we feel thankful, usually we let this person know that his actions have generated valuable consequences in us, and that he has given us something important and positive.
We can give or receive material things; or intellectual help, such as advice in solving a problem; or emotional help, like support in a painful moment.
The value of the positive feedback is the power of the expression in the interpersonal communication. We strengthen bonds, we reinforce relationships, and we generate an empathy that allows a better connection with others, because we explicitly demonstrate our recognition to them.
But if these expressions of positive feedback are scarce or they are used inadequately, we may see our relationships struggle, and consequently, feelings of resentment may start to appear. The lack of gratitude and recognition has broken many families, couples and friendships.
Therefore, it is important to recognize that we should express more positive recognition to others. The more you accredit people for doing things right, the more right things they will do! Encourage positive actions by letting people know when they do things well.
Expressing gratefulness or giving positive feedback is going to help us strengthen bonds, and better enjoy being among others.
Start today, and if done consistently, in a three week period, giving positive feedback will have become an enjoyable life-long habit.
Give yourself the opportunity, through this month of November, to revalue the act of showing appreciation, as a habit that will improve your quality of life. This will positively affect your relationship with yourself and with the people around you.